I keep saying that I’m going to do this blog thing but haven’t made time until today. I guess I’m chiseling at this block slowly but surely considering I had to have a “screwdriver” and now I feel like writing the world all of a sudden!
I moved here from Kentucky last July and it definitely has it’s ups and downs, more ups than downs so I think it balances out. To me, when I was in Kentucky, I was in survival mode. I felt as if I could barely breath. It was so conservative and it was as if it catered to “robots.” Everyone had to be the same. If you were a guy and had an earing, people would look at you like you’re a freak, if you walk the wrong way they will stare you down and shake your head while saying “God bless your soul.”
I came here because I wanted “Wide Open Spaces,” yes, it was my theme song while I was driving in my little Miata at the time across the country. Room to make big mistakes, room to breath, room to find out who you are without everyone in a somewhat small town telling you who to be. I think what I like the most about Cali, is that the people are real here. If you cut them off in traffic, they will let you know they don’t appreciate by giving you a signal using one finger. If they don’t like you, they just won’t talk to you, if they do like you, they will call you.
As far as personally, I’m happy to finally have a chance just to “BE.” Be yourself. Allow yourself to “just BE.” In this town with there being so many people, there isn’t enough time to worry about what the other person is wearing or what the other person is doing. Let the real you come through and find yourself in that and don’t be afraid of it. I’m not saying be selfish about it and focus only on yourself, get to know others and care about others as well, but spend time with yourself and actually like yourself no matter who you find that to be.
I know I’m random tonight, that’s what vodka and orange juice can do for you, I have no regrets lol. I came here expecting to find life and excitement, instead, I found myself. I realized I went to school and majored in two different areas because that’s who I thought I was. Taking the time and having a little patience to find out who I am. When you find something buried inside of you and it lingers there, it will probably never leave you. It’s there for a reason, for you to reach in and bring it to life. It doesn’t matter to me how old I am, how many times I’ve been to school, what the cost is financially and personally, I will with God’s grace make it happen! I will do my part, I will have hope and faith. I will be seventy someday in a nursing home saying to myself and my future children, I followed my heart, I followed my dreams. I have no regrets because I did what I was brought here to do, be myself and “seize the day!” I will never forget the words of a fellow co-worker from four years ago, “It’s not about getting there, it’s about how you get there!” It’s not about the finish line, it’s about the race and the journey to get there. Something recently I learned from my roommate, “If it’s anything worth having, you will have to fight for it.” The great part that I add to that is psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepperd I shall not want, he walks beside me.” If God gives me desires and I take the time to make sure that they are from him, then I have to have the faith that he has given to me to believe that it will happen. Why would God give such passions and then leave a person linger? That’s not the God I know. Take the time to get to know him, take the time to get to know yourself. Take advantage of life, and take advantage of living.