I just realized my love for control and constant craving for it, is so that I will not feel love, so that I won’t feel heavenly or earthly relationships. When I lose myself, when I lose control, I find myself. I find peace, I find love, I find God. Please change me God, please take this need to control and replace it with what’s real, love, life, passion, adventure. Only you can do this God, I can’t change myself. I need you to love me, I need you to hold me, I need you to guide me, I need you to change me. I do love you God, with all my heart. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me and continue to do. Thank you for believing in me, never giving up on me, and bringing me this far. Amen