I realized this year that Christmas really isn’t for single people without close friends or near family to share it with. At least this is what I found out for myself. I decided I would not put up another tree next year unless I have someone to share that with whether it’s a close friend, my small family, or someone special. The tree only reminds me of fond childhood memories having my parents in my life and having a family. Now when I see the tree, it reminds me everyday that they are not here and that in that sense…I’m alone. I have felt alone for the past few weeks. Not to say that that is necessarily a bad thing unless you are at the point of depression. It’s ok to fill different emotions since we’re human and we have them.
This Christmas in San Diego…I decided to spend Christmas alone. I’ve been here for over a year and still don’t feel like I have a group or even a few friends that I can consider family just yet and that’s what I think Christmas is about. I have met wonderful people and have began forming friendships, just not to that level yet. I had rather be alone than to bring others down with the way that I felt. The few friends here that I do consider somewhat close where either away or had other plans. So yes…it was a movie night for me.
The best Christmas present…was when I went to Little Ceasars barely down the street to get a pizza to go along with my movie night. As soon as I walked through the door, the guy at the counter that worked there said, "Hi Jesse!" I said….."excuse me?" I wanted to make sure that I heard him correctly that he said my name. Again…he said, "Hi Jason!" I was in awe. I said that I was shocked that he remembered my name. He said yeah…I tend to do that to my regular customers and it kinda freaks them out 🙂 ….as a slight grin came across his face. That very moment made my Christmas. In a city so big and a world even bigger, this person new my name! This may sound silly, but I honestly didn’t feel lonely for the remainder of my Christmas. Needless to say…I still took down the Christmas tree as soon as I woke up the next day 🙂
The sad part, is that I didn’t know his name. I go in there all the time to get a pizza (they’re only five bucks 🙂 and I didn’t know his name…and he wears a name badge. What does that say about me?